WEEK 12: Find Yourself Some Friends Like These

Who: Katie, Chase, and Sydney

Church: Thankful Memorial Parish (Episcopal)

Lunch: The Hot Chocolatier

Topics: The Institution of Church vs The Real Church, The Kingdom of God

We first met Katie and Chase in September 2021 at a panel discussion entitled Youth Mental Health & the Church. They were invited to attend the discussion, where Sydney and I spent some time talking about our story and our work in the community. It was a unique moment where our faith and our mission intersected in a formal setting since moving to Chattanooga. This panel was the culmination of six months of collaboration, with mental health and church leaders meeting monthly to address blind spots, missed opportunities, and areas for growth in how the church can better support young people and their families.

Since then, Katie and Chase have become close friends for so many reasons. They’re as genuine as it gets, never taking themselves too seriously, and every time we’re together, there’s no shortage of laughter. Yet, they’re also deeply thoughtful about life and faith. I know I can text them about any theological question I’m wrestling with, and they’ll respond with honesty and insight, always taking the conversation seriously. They’re also avid live music fans and have shown up for our kids on so many occasions to celebrate them.

Find friends like this. You need them.

Now for the our experience on Sunday: Nestled in the heart of the St. Elmo community, the church has a quiet, tucked-away charm that instantly reminded me of the beautiful stone churches we visited in Scotland last summer. Its architecture and serene surroundings exude a timeless beauty, and stepping inside brought an immediate sense of peace and reverence. The space felt like a sanctuary from the everyday, where history and tranquility blend to create an inviting atmosphere for reflection and connection.

Over the years, I’ve attended only a handful of Episcopal churches, but one aspect that stands out as a constant is the deep attention given to liturgy. Episcopal services have a unique reverence and structure, a thoughtful rhythm that carefully guides each part of the worship experience. This attention to detail creates a sacred atmosphere that invites everyone to participate fully, engaging the heart, mind, and spirit. The use of ancient prayers, communal responses, and symbolic actions connects worshippers to centuries of Christian tradition, offering a sense of continuity that transcends time and place. It’s a beautiful reminder of the church’s commitment to intentionality and depth in worship, where every word and gesture feels meaningful and purposefully directed toward honoring God.

Sydney and I felt a little scattered. A traditional Episcopal service has its own cadence, a kind of rhythm we’re not used to, with each part of the service flowing into the next. But we found ourselves fumbling through it, juggling books and bulletins as we tried to follow along with everyone else. When it came time to kneel for the prayers, we had a funny moment, laughing at ourselves as we balanced everything in our hands, wondering how to make it work.

Despite the initial awkwardness, though, there was something really special about being there. There’s a deep sense of community and belonging in that small church, a feeling that everyone is genuinely welcome. It’s something you can feel from the way the members interact with each other and with newcomers like us. We may have felt a bit out of sync, but being in that space still left an impression on us—a reminder of how meaningful a tight-knit community can be, even when the rituals feel unfamiliar.

After church, the four of us grabbed lunch at The Hot Chocolatier and we talked about… all the things: how they decided to make this church their home, the election, the comparison between the institution of church and what we commonly refer to as the REAL church, and the Kingdom of God. I could spend an entire blog post writing about each of these… rich, complex, and full of nuance… but I want to focus on the latter two for this entry.

The topic of differentiating between the institution of church and the REAL church has actually come up several times over the past week. So, for the purposes of clarity, I want to explain what I’m referring to with each of these concepts:

Institution of Church: Universally, the term often refers to the organized, formal structures of the church, which include the buildings, denominations, leadership hierarchy, programs, and official doctrines. These structures are often governed by policies, traditions, and human-made systems. For the record, I don’t believe these elements are inherently bad; they can serve essential purposes. However, I do think we’ve often placed too much emphasis on what happens within church walls on Sunday mornings, sometimes to the detriment of living out our faith the rest of the week. At its best, the institution can provide a foundation for community, support, and shared worship. But at its worst, it has been misused by those with selfish agendas, distorting the Christian faith for personal gain, power, or control. When this happens, it risks becoming an obstacle to genuine spiritual growth, overshadowing the real mission of the church: to be a compassionate, active presence in the world, fostering love, justice, and transformation beyond any single gathering. And somewhere between those extremes lies a very real issue: we often allocate more resources to maintaining buildings than to caring for the marginalized in our communities. When I refer to the institutional church, I’m specifically referring to the extremes of that spectrum, those who have distorted, or completely missed, the mission Christ left to his people.

Real Church: The real church, in a theological sense, is often seen as the body of believers united in their faith in Christ. It’s described as a spiritual community transcending any physical or organizational boundaries. The real church includes people from diverse backgrounds, denominations, and cultures, connected by shared beliefs, values, and love for one another. It emphasizes relationships, mutual support, authentic worship, and the lived expression of faith. The real church is about living out values, serving others, and reflecting the teachings of Jesus in everyday life.

But, I want to close out this post with our conversation about the Kingdom of God. I’m currently doing a study by Jamie Winship that has had me looking at the Kingdom of God, juxtaposed with Christianity. And as we talked about this over lunch I really appreciated the perspectives that Katie and Chase offered. At the end of the day, the Kingdom of God is a central theme in Jesus’ teachings, referring to God’s rule, presence, and influence over all creation. It is not a physical territory but rather a spiritual reality where God’s will, values, and justice reign. It is marked by peace, compassion, humility, and a focus on uplifting the poor, marginalized, and oppressed.

Christianity, on the other hand, is the organized religion and faith tradition that has developed around the teachings, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It includes specific beliefs, doctrines, practices, and denominations, as well as historical and cultural structures. While Christianity’s purpose is to help those wanting to follow Christ and, ideally, to reflect Kingdom values, it is also shaped by human institutions, customs, and interpretations. And even though Christianity has been the primary means through which the message of the Kingdom is shared, it is not synonymous with the Kingdom itself. (Yeah… that might be a hot take, but that’s where I stand on it.)

One of the things that has stuck with me this week has been Katie’s comment that the Kingdom of God isn’t just about the people of God. It’s about the presence of God. It’s about the work of the Holy Spirit. It’s about so much more than us.

CHALLENGE: When you think about the Kingdom of God, what specifically do you think about? How does the religion of Christianity fit into your understanding of the Kingdom of God?