Week 16: What is the Church?

Who: Mary Claire

Church: Restoration Southside

Lunch: Kenny’s

Topics: The Ecumenical Church, The “Perfect” Church, and Meeting People Where They Are

Something you might not know about me… I’m a bit of a paradox when it comes to rules. I’m a fierce rule follower—well, sort of. If someone else imposes rules on me, you can bet I’ll push back, challenge them, and defend my independence. But when it comes to rules I set for myself? I’m unwavering. Once I commit to my own boundaries or standards, I follow them to the letter—even when they seem overly rigid or no longer serve a practical purpose. It’s like I have this inner code I can’t break, no matter how much it defies logic.

And when I started this project, I set a few ground rules for myself—and I’ve already broken one of them. But here’s the twist: I’m calling it progress! My original plan was to visit a new church every week for a year, allowing for a few intentional breaks for reflection and travel. The goal was to explore, learn, and engage with a wide variety of faith communities.

However, something beautiful happened along the way. I began connecting with people in the community who were curious about what I’m doing and eager to share in the experience. Some even invited me to attend church with them. The only catch? I had already visited their church. At first, I hesitated, feeling like I was breaking my self-imposed rule. But then I realized that this project isn’t just about visiting different buildings or checking off boxes—it’s about building relationships and fostering meaningful connections. And if revisiting a church means deepening those connections, I’m more than okay with bending the rules.

So, this week I returned to Restoration Southside with my new friend Mary Claire. I met Mary Claire in 2023 when Sydney and Brayden were performing at TEDx Chattanooga’s first Sessions event. And we ran into each other again this past summer when the kids were performing at Highland Park Porchfest, which is when I told her about this little project of mine… and she invited me to church with her. Saying “yes” to Mary Claire’s invitation turned out to be a beautiful reminder of the importance of connection. It was about so much more than attending church.

I’ve already talked about my appreciation for Restoration Southside in another post. (If you’re interested in reading my thoughts, you can do so HERE.) For today’s post I want to talk more about the conversation Mary Claire and I had over lunch as it relates to the ecumenical church and meeting people where they are on their spiritual journey, specifically the idea of faith as a shared space, not bound by rigid walls or denominational lines. Embracing unity and diversity across traditions—creates a space where people can feel welcomed and valued, regardless of where they are in their relationship with God or the church.

But, that’s easier said than done.

We talked about the importance of grace and openness in spiritual communities, not expecting everyone to fit into a mold but rather walking alongside them, hearing their stories, and honoring their unique paths. We also reflected on how often people feel disconnected from traditional church settings because they fear judgment and/or don’t feel like they belong. But when the focus shifts to meeting people where they are—whether that’s in doubt, curiosity, or conviction—it opens the door for true connection, growth, and healing.

Since my lunch with Mary Claire, I’ve had three interesting interaction with people who have either sent me a DM, or personally stopped to talk about some of my posts. And there is a common theme: Church as a meeting place, or a gathering of any sort, just isn’t cutting it. Each interaction has brought a unique perspective, yet they all converge on a shared struggle—a widening gap between what individuals seek from their spiritual communities and what they feel is being offered. Importantly, this disconnect doesn’t stem from a mindset of “you’re not giving me what I want.” Instead, it reflects a deeper longing, a heartfelt question: “There has to be more to it than this, right?”

For some, the issue seems to be a lack of genuine connection. Church as a meeting place often feels transactional or routine, a place to check off a weekly obligation rather than a sanctuary where deep relationships are formed and sustained. Others have expressed a longing for something more dynamic and meaningful, a space where conversations about real-life struggles—mental health, family pressures, or social justice—are not just welcomed but encouraged.

What stands out to me is not just that people feel the current format of church gatherings isn’t cutting it, but that they are yearning for something different. They want a place that feels alive, relational, and deeply attuned to the realities of today’s world. Whether it’s a reimagining of church as a collaborative, grassroots movement or a space for intimate and authentic community, the hunger for meaningful engagement is undeniable. But, not just within their church community… they want meaningful engagement throughout our city. As one person so eloquently put it: There has to be more to all of this than hanging out with my church friends a couple times a week and serving at the soup kitchen once a month.

Another of these conversations centered around how younger generations, in particular, are seeking authenticity over tradition. It’s not about rejecting faith or spirituality but rather about finding expressions of these values that are real, relevant, and inclusive. Another person shared how they’ve started hosting small gatherings at home, blending faith-based discussions with communal meals, and have found this to be far more fulfilling than the large, impersonal gatherings they had been attending. What’s fascinating is how this theme isn’t just about dissatisfaction—it’s also about possibility. And, I don’t think it’s an “either/or” scenario. It’s more about “and/both” and how we can come together on Sunday, but dig in deeper Monday through Saturday.

It’s a reminder that there’s a tremendous opportunity for faith communities to evolve and adapt, to become spaces where people feel seen, heard, and genuinely supported. For me, these conversations are not just about what’s missing but about what could be built in its place. I keep returning to the idea that perhaps the heart of this issue isn’t the institution itself but the ways in which it’s being experienced. Are we creating environments where vulnerability can thrive? Are we meeting people where they are, in their questions and struggles? Are we offering more than just a gathering—a true sense of belonging?

These interactions have been a powerful reminder of how important it is to listen. They have challenged me to think about what kind of spaces I’m fostering in my own life and work, and how I can contribute to this larger conversation about community, faith, and connection.

When I look back on my conversation with Mary Claire, I’m thankful for the connection to such a beautiful person who feels the weight of the world in a profound way, carrying a heartfelt burden for others to be seen, valued, and truly loved. Her compassion is contagious, and our time together reminded me of the beauty that emerges when we pause to connect with those who carry such an intentional vision for others.

It’s in moments like these that I’m reminded none of this is by chance. These conversations, these intersections with kindred spirits, have felt divinely orchestrated—threads in a larger tapestry being woven together. Over the past four months, each interaction has offered me a glimpse into something extraordinary: the possibilities of what the ecumenical church in Chattanooga could look like.

This isn’t about buildings, denominations, or traditional frameworks. It’s about a church that is alive and vibrant, a mosaic of people from all walks of life united by their desire to serve, love, and uplift their community. It’s about breaking down barriers and finding common ground—where shared humanity takes precedence over doctrinal differences, and the focus shifts to what truly matters: fostering connection, meeting tangible needs, and creating spaces where everyone feels welcome and valued.

Mary Claire’s deep burden for others mirrors the larger vision I see unfolding—a church that moves beyond routine gatherings and into the heartbeat of the city, one that listens, learns, and loves in practical, transformative ways. These connections are not only inspiring but also challenging me to consider how I can contribute to this vision, how I can help create spaces where people are drawn together in unity and purpose.

Looking back, I see these moments as pieces of a puzzle, each one adding clarity to what could be possible. The ecumenical church in Chattanooga doesn’t have to be confined to a single space or system; it’s something far greater—a network of relationships, a movement of shared hope, and a reflection of what it means to truly embody love in action. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

CHALLENGE: I encourage you to reach out to someone… ask them out for coffee or a meal… and talk about the ecumenical church in Chattanooga. (Bonus points if they attend a different church than you!)