Tag: christianity

WEEK 7: Where Are You Giving Your Attention?

by Searching For Jesus in America

Who: Libby and Kyron

Church: New City East Lake (Presbyterian)

Lunch: Urban Stack

Topics: Motivated by Love, Institution vs Bride, Micro vs Macro

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to join a group of people from different corners of Chattanooga’s music scene for a meeting at the Mayor’s office. On a personal level, it was exciting to look around the room and realize that I knew half the people there—because we’ve collaborated with so many of them. On a professional level, I noticed an interesting parallel between the music community and the church community. There are a lot of people with strong personalities opinions and a lot of potential for incredibly impactful collective work.

As I was leaving the building, I spotted my friend Libby chatting with someone else from the meeting. Never one to meet a stranger, I introduced myself to Kyron, the new music director at New City East Lake. I then proceeded to invite myself to their church and they graciously accepted my invitation. And I’m so thankful they did because it turned out to be one of the most meaningful church services I’ve ever experienced.

Upon entry of the sanctuary, I was immediately reminded of my grandmother’s church: old wooden pews, stained glass window, and acoustics that any vocalist would salivate over. (I’ve grown to appreciate that last one thanks to my kids.) My secondary thoughts: This congregation is incredibly diverse. Like its sister church in Glenwood, which Sydney and I visited about a month ago, New City East Lake has a diversity that spans across generation, ethnicities, and socio-economic classes. And its service felt like a time travel/teleportation back to Cuernavaca, Mexico when I was a study abroad student in college.

The ENTIRE service was bi-lingual, which has its own unique challenges, but this service had a beautiful flow that never came across as disjointed. I should also note that worship had me chuckling thanks to a few “old school” throwbacks that I knew by heart. Not to mention some songs in Spanish! I’m a little rusty, but singing those songs took me back to living in Mexico… back to a time where community and church were truly synonymous.

And before I move on to the conversation during lunch, I have to talk about how this church does communion. I’ve been to hundreds of churches over the years and I’ve NEVER experienced communion like this. They empty the pews, row by row, each person coming to the front of the church to pick up their cup of grape juice, or wine… yes, real wine. Each congregant also breaks off their own bread before creating a ginormous circle around the room. This followed with the taking of communion and then another song of worship.

An introvert’s nightmare.

But, as I looked around the sanctuary, for the second time since starting this year-long experiment, I was struct by the diversity. Generational diversity. Ethnic diversity. Socio-economic diversity. And compared to so many of the homogenous congregations I’ve grown accustomed to, this was a refreshing and powerful reminder of what community should look like. It wasn’t just a gathering of people who looked alike or shared the same background—it was a true mosaic of life experiences, perspectives, and stories. In this space, everyone had a seat at the table, no matter where they came from. It made me realize how much richer our shared faith and sense of belonging can be when we embrace diversity, rather than shy away from it. This sanctuary was a glimpse of the inclusive, welcoming church world I hope to see more of.

As we moved into lunch, something happened that has NEVER happened before: I took ZERO notes. During the sermons, I typically take pages of notes and this Sunday was no exception. My little reporter-style, hand-held notepad with the Mary Poppins quote (“There’s a whole world at your feet.”) was filled with notes. But in the actual discussion time with my friends this week, I was so busy talking about the sermon… and it’s implications… that I only wrote one sentence:

Where are you giving your attention?

For context, the sermon was entitled “Let Your Kingdom Come – The cycle of Love” and was rooted in Acts 3:1-10. The premise: Love was the mark of the early church. And here are just a few of the notes I took away from the sermon:

  • They saw the kingdom of God on the move and were a part of it.
  • The kingdom of God is NOT for self-promotion.
  • True joy can be found when we shift focus from ourselves to others.
  • The “agenda” is not to control and dominate.
  • The “agenda” is about power… the power of love.
  • Peter denied Jesus until the power of love consumed him.

The teaching centered around this idea that Jesus modeled a profound cycle of love that should follow in our day-to-day lives, which consists of three components: Notice, Engage, Give. As a quick synopsis NOTICE simply means cultivating awareness. Jesus was attentive to the needs of the people around him. This is really about moving from self-focus to others-focus, recognizing where love is needed. ENGAGE is the next step once we’ve noticed the need. Jesus looked past the struggles and stepped into their lives, shared their burdens, and connected with them on a deep, personal level. To engage means we’re showing up with empathy, actively listening, and making the decision to get involved in meaningful ways, whether through offering time, resources, or emotional support. GIVE is all about love in action. Giving is not just about material possessions but about offering ourselves—our love, our care, our presence. It’s a selfless act that completes the cycle, contributing to the well-being of others without expectation of return. (Please, read that last part again.)

And that brings us full circle to the one thing I scribbled down in my notebook during lunch: Where are you giving your attention? We’d been sitting there for about 45 minutes by then, with to-go boxes already ordered, when Kyron dropped the question. It hit me like a punch to the gut. I’ll never forget the sound that escaped me in that moment—it was somewhere between a gasp and a laugh, but it carried the weight of a realization I wasn’t ready for.

Confession: During this current season, my attention is all over the place and I’m having some really difficult discussions with myself, my family, and a few other people in my inner circle about my priorities and how they’ve shifted in ways I never anticipated. It feels like I’m juggling a hundred things at once—projects, relationships, responsibilities—and none of them are getting the attention they truly deserve. (And this isn’t new.) But, the question Kyron asked wasn’t just about focus, it was about intention. Where am I placing my energy, and more importantly, why?

I’ve come to realize that attention is more than just where my mind wanders—it’s a reflection of what I value, consciously or unconsciously. And right now, my values feel scattered. I’m caught between the urgency of deadlines, the pull of new opportunities, and the need to nurture the people I care about. In these tough conversations, it’s becoming clear that some things need to change. I’m being forced to confront what really matters to me and make some hard decisions about where I need to invest my time, and heart, moving forward.

Maybe that’s the real punch—the realization that not everything can be a priority, and if I don’t choose wisely, something, or someone, will inevitably be left behind.

CHALLENGE: This week might be a little difficult, or even painful, because it’s based in the the acknowledgment that not everything can be treated with equal importance. Take an inventory of your current priorities… based on how you ACTUALLY spend your time… and ask yourself if it lines up with how you WANT to spend your time. The struggle of balancing immediate responsibilities, long-term goals, and personal relationships, while accepting that some things may need to be left behind can be difficult. But, it’s also really important.

WEEK 6: So Many Familiar Faces

by Searching For Jesus in America

Who: Maggie, Bruce, Shannon, and Sydney

Church: Mission Chattanooga (Anglican)

Lunch: Taziki’s Mediterranean Cafe

Topics: Friendship, Community, Belonging

If I had to choose one church in Chattanooga where most of my friends attend, besides my home church, it would be Mission Chattanooga. I probably know around 50-60 people who are part of the community, and that’s without counting their kids. Although there aren’t many people in my own age group (40-50), it’s truly heartening to see the congregation filled with so many young adults and families. There’s an energy and vibrancy there that makes Mission Chattanooga a really special place.

Before moving to Chatt, I had absolutely no experience with the Anglican Church. If you have no familiarity, it’s a Christian denomination known for its blend of tradition, liturgy, and scripture-based worship. In my LIMITED experience, Anglican churches often strike a balance between honoring historical practices and being relevant to modern life. You’ll find both ancient prayers and hymns alongside more contemporary music and teachings. I’ve heard some people refer to it as a “middle road” between Catholicism and Protestantism. (I don’t know that I agree with this sentiment, but I understand it… and I think it’s a relatable comparison for those who have attended services in both traditions.)

On this particular Sunday, I saw a lot of those young people I mentioned above. My phone buzzed several times during the service. A text from some asking if I was at their church… one asking why I was at their church! (The common question: Is our family thinking about becoming members? And the answer is no.) We’re not really a “high liturgy” family. Some people love it, and I truly understand why. Our family just isn’t in that camp. And…I know this is a hot take… but, we don’t do membership.

The teaching this week was based in John 15, anchored in a sermon series about abiding, but underscoring the importance of connection and community. Full disclosure: I had a hard time tracking with it, and to be fair to the speaker, I think it’s because it was a message typically given to younger adults, specifically college students who are looking to create community. The advice was to put yourself out there, do as many things as possible, in hope of finding your place and your people, which can be great advice for college students yearning for a sense of belonging in a new community. But as someone past that stage of life, it felt a little disconnected from the reality of so many people I know.

I’ve learned that community often grows in more organic, sometimes slower, ways—through deep, intentional relationships that don’t always come from attending a large number of events or joining a lot of group. It’s less about quantity and more about quality, about being present in the spaces where you already are, investing in those around you, and allowing those connections to develop over time. I found myself reflecting on how, for me, abiding means trusting that authentic community will come through these deeper, more sustained engagements rather than constantly seeking it out in every new place.

And this is where my weekly conversation found its grounding.

The phrase “church hurt” carries a weight of shared experience for many people. It’s not just a term; it’s a marker of a deep, often unspoken, wound that many people carry from their time within a church or religious community. And I think it’s one of the reasons why so many of us are hesitant to jump back into the waters of community. I also think it’s important to acknowledge that “church hurt” has become a catch all phrase for a long list of behaviors and experiences, including, but not limited to abuse of power, gossip and conflict, legalism and indoctrination, and judgmental rejection. Not all abuse is equal, but it is critical to recognize that all forms of harm—no matter how subtle or severe—leave lasting wounds.

Each experience under the umbrella of “church hurt” affects people differently, depending on their personal history, faith, and resilience. While some may suffer deeply from spiritual abuse or emotional manipulation by leaders, others may feel hurt by the judgment and exclusion they experience within the congregation. The key is to understand that, regardless of the intensity, each experience is valid.

One of the things I really appreciated about the people gathered around our lunch table was their willingness to hold space for talking about our “church hurt” without fear that we are “hurting” the church. In many church cultures, unity is highly valued, and anything that disrupts the appearance of harmony can be labeled as divisive. As a result, when someone brings up problems or critiques the church, they may be accused of “gossiping” or “stirring the pot,” even if their concerns are legitimate. And it’s important to note that creating a safe space to air grievances and process our experiences can quickly escalate to a gossip sessions if the focus shifts from seeking understanding, healing, and resolution to simply venting frustrations or criticizing others without constructive intent. While it’s crucial to provide a place where people feel heard and validated, there’s a fine line between healthy processing and harmful gossip.

And sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.

But, one of the things I’ve learned over the past decade is the importance in asking the right questions. Instead of fueling negative energy, asking thoughtful, open-ended questions helps guide the dialogue toward deeper understanding and growth. One of the most powerful questions I’ve ever been asked was: What would healing look like here?

This simple question has the power to transform a conversation, keeping it solution-focused and rooted in empathy rather than criticism. Asking questions like this is crucial, because without them, we risk repeating the same mistakes or falling into cycles of negativity that hinder growth. By encouraging reflection and seeking clarity, we open the door to meaningful change and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

We also give ourselves space to heal as a community… as a church. And we desperately need this.

CHALLENGE: Whether you’ve experienced “church hurt” or some other relational hurt, as yourself the question: What would healing look like here?

WEEK 4: Taking Communion

by Searching For Jesus in America

Who: Stefan

Church: Restoration Southside (Presbyterian)

Lunch: La Delicia

Topics: Community, Belonging, and Communion

One month into this little project and there is one thing I’m pretty certain of: I’ll run into someone I know at every church I visit this year. Sure, Chattanooga holds the title of the most churched community per capita in the country, so the odds are in my favor—but it goes deeper than that.

These aren’t just people we know. They’re our partners in the community… artists, business owners, non-profit employees. And, this is WHY, in part, I wanted to start this little project of mine. Our family often talks about how “uncommon” it feels to be surrounded by people who resist casual Christianity. Some of these people have stepped away from the institutional church altogether, while others remain deeply rooted in their local congregations.

And I think both types of people bear a common thread.

Sydney and I were in Burlaep a few weeks ago and ran into Stefan, a local realtor who used to work at Chattanooga Sports Ministries. Knowing that he attended a church regularly, I asked if I could tag along one week and then grab lunch after to talk about all the things. I never quite know how people will react to this because “southern hospitality” is typically offered, not requested. But he was game, and I’m really glad he was.

Restoration Southside is a church with whom I have a little familiarity. It’s a go-to spot for larger ecumenical church/community functions, but I wasn’t sure what to expect… except that I would see some familiar faces. And I saw several. There were also a few things that immediately stood out: Worship was bilingual… and they incorporated a banjo. (I don’t want to be biased, but the banjo will forever have my heart.) They also led a corporate prayer for those struggling with infertility, or pregnancy loss, and underscored their commitment to this community. This is an area I’ve seen many churches unintentionally overlook, especially when so much emphasis is placed on families. Their level of intentionality was inspiring.

One of the things I also found interesting was their communion series for younger students. A class traditionally seen in Catholic catechism, this type of lengthy instruction isn’t typically embraced in Protestant denominations. Whenever I see a serious dedication to the spiritual growth of younger generations, and not a mere commitment to gimmicks that make church cool and hip slay and lit, I’m encouraged.

The sermon was solid, but what impacted me the most was the community, which is what Stefan and I talked about the most over lunch. (I also want to take a moment to say that La Delicia is the absolute best AUTHENTIC Mexican food I’ve had since living in Mexico. If you’re local to Chatt and love Mexican food, I can’t suggest this place enough.)

Over lunch, I asked Stefan why his family chose Restoration Southside, and his answer was simple: community. If you’ve ever worked in ministry, you know this can be a sensitive topic. In Western cultures especially, many people choose a church based on personal preferences—worship style, building aesthetics, charismatic pastors, service length, or youth programs. In all honesty, I haven’t had many people tell me they’ve chosen their church home because of the community itself. Stefan also mentioned the strong emphasis on serving at Restoration, which stood out to me. After spending over a decade in children’s ministry, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to find willing volunteers. And as a parent, I’ve been on the other side too, longing for a season where I’m not guilted or pressured into “serving” when all I really needed was 30 minutes to sit still and absorb an encouraging word.

But at Restoration, they highlight the deeper human connection that comes from serving—particularly the friendships that form among those who serve together. Stefan shared how this has shaped his own experience. He also spoke about the inter-generational aspect of the church, which closely mirrors the early Christian communities where people of all ages lived, worshiped, and served side by side, fostering relationships that transcend age and stage of life.

But, probably the most impactful thing about that Sunday was taking communion. Besides the Christmas Eve service last year, I haven’t taken communion in almost a year and a half. (That’s a blog post for another time.) But the short of it is simple: I haven’t felt compelled to take communion, ESPECIALLY at a church where I wasn’t a part of their community. On a personal level, communion calls for self-examination, reconciliation, and the pursuit of holiness. But, corporately, at the Communion table, it holds that all believers are equal. There’s no hierarchy—whether rich or poor, old or young, everyone comes with the same need for grace. This fosters a spirit of humility, inclusion, and shared dependency on God. Communion provides an opportunity for the church to reflect on its own spiritual health. And over the past couple of years, I’ve been wrestling through this. I’m still wrestling through this.

And, for the record, our family hasn’t regularly attended a church for about a year and a half. But, even before we stopped, communion has felt more about a personal reflection and call for repentance… not a corporate one. But on this day, it just felt different.

CHALLENGE: Reflect on what SERVING has meant to you in the past and what feelings come to the service. Have you experienced serving as an opportunity to build community? If not, how might you approach it differently to foster deeper connections?